Dork20 Caption Contest

The contest is over. We've pooled the entries, divided them into two tables, and determined our winner through the finest selection method science has ever given to humanity: percentile dice. The winner is:

Bob Everson of New York State!

We received a lot great entires, too. A sampling of them is presented here for your enjoyment.

Never let it be said that gamers don't have a shared sense of humor; we received a lot of very similar captions and a lot of variations on some jokes. Don't be offended if your caption didn't make this list; when we couldn't decide between two or three similar captions, we picked randomly or applied our own bias.

Here we go:

"Hold it! HOLD it! You wouldn't hit a man with

glasses would you?"

My Diety Can Kick Your Diety's Ass

Turn softly and carry a big stick.

"I'm lawful-neutral; would you like to

be turned or rebuked?"

"Tonight, the beatings are on you."

"Beware! I am not a skeleton! I am a very hungry

abyssal exalted!"

Louisville Slugger: When you absolutely have

to bash every skeleton in the room...

"What do you mean I picked the wrong hand?"

It's a good day when you get to kill something


"This is not the cleric you are looking for..."

"May I introduce you to Club Skeleton?"

"Don't you just wish you TOO could see

right thorugh me?"

"Hey! Look over there! Is that Calista

Flockheart?" (*bonk!*)

"How am I supposed to know how many fingers

you're holding up? I don't have any eyes!"

"An empty skull at just the right height,

and all that T-ball as a kid...

"I'm a Necroxylophonist... Do you mind if I

play dem bones?"

"No, I have never heard the expression

'beware of Geeks bearing gifts.'"

"Can I interest you in a low-tech, multiple-use,

one- or two-handed situation equalizer?"

"I know you! I buried you!"

"Rabbit Season! ... Duck Season!"

"Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet...Ah, forget


"Ok, let's try this one more time. You come

at me with the sword again, but this time show a little feeling."

I batted my eyes, he eyed my bat, so I batted

his eyes, now how you like that?

"Are you sure you're part of the evil horde?

I don't remember seeing you at any of the meetings..."

Turn Undead...into kindling.

"Is that your brother on the shield?"

"What exactly is being hidden behind that

loin cloth?"

"Did you know that 'cudgel' is the Irish

word for 'baseball bat?'"

"Wait, what are the rules for Turn Undead,


"My druid companion is a bat."